Why am I reminded of Finding Nemo's ever so encoraging excitment about the frist day of school? Am I just as excited? Or am I more scared that ever? I think it's because we both have non changing aliments, which are parnets never seem to get that doesn't mean we are done living! And this year is my journey to Sydney, away to prove, that I'll be okay, that I can make it even though I'm not 100 percent.
I bought Living well with autoimmune disease by Mary J. Shomon, I started it a couple days ago, haven't made my mind about it yet.
Tomorrow I start Senior Year, and we really get to the juciy blogg stuff about thyirods.
see ya there!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Taking away my sight too.
Most women who have thyroid disease are misdiagnosed multiple times. I on the other hand had only one symptom a goiter until my doctor found it in a routine physical. Soon after that I noticed in my old middle school photo's my throat was enlarged, the nasty thing had been with me for years. I had always been the over dramatic one, the sentimental one, I was always too up or too down. That's what I feel like now that I have two gears fast and stopped never in the middle nor a nice jogging pace one or the other (not to mention but right now I'm crashing).
I love to sing, to sing at the top of my lungs and dance around my room, now sometimes my voice is so horse I can barley talk and my body so tired I can't lift my head up. But some how all of these terrific women on Dear Thyroid get though it. So why can't I seem to be as strong as them. I haven't really gain weight, my hair is still as thick as can be, and until recently I could read size 50 font from across a room.
One thing that we learn as thyroid victims is to be strong, because most of us are just waiting and looking. I have learned so much from these women and I would like to thank them. For bringing my sight back, my eyes maybe losing focus, but I can see everything as clear as day. And I don't have it as bad as most, but I have it and I will never forget that.
Thank you again Dear Thyroid writers, I'm listening.
I love to sing, to sing at the top of my lungs and dance around my room, now sometimes my voice is so horse I can barley talk and my body so tired I can't lift my head up. But some how all of these terrific women on Dear Thyroid get though it. So why can't I seem to be as strong as them. I haven't really gain weight, my hair is still as thick as can be, and until recently I could read size 50 font from across a room.
One thing that we learn as thyroid victims is to be strong, because most of us are just waiting and looking. I have learned so much from these women and I would like to thank them. For bringing my sight back, my eyes maybe losing focus, but I can see everything as clear as day. And I don't have it as bad as most, but I have it and I will never forget that.
Thank you again Dear Thyroid writers, I'm listening.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Where are my results?
It's one thing to know that by body is attaching it's self but another to not know how. On Monday I go to the doctor and see how the levels have changed. I try so hard to think maybe just maybe my thyriod gave up, and I can finally have a normal life, that I won't be sick anymore, that I can do whatever I want, and not have to stop every few minutes because, poor thyroid is lazy.
I want to travel the world. I want to see more that the inside of a doctor's office. I want to run. I want to fall in love. I want to join drama again. I want to LIVE. And, that's where everyone gets lost, "well, Madison you could be worse". "Well Madison, you have so much more." "Well Madison, you do to much anyway." "Madison you have a fever." "Madison, why are you crying?" "Madison, what did I do?" "Madison why are you being so bitchy?" Madison! Madison! Madison!
You know your answer, I don't know, and I'm trying my best to be a seventeen year old girl but I can't with a disease that makes me act like a two year old on caffeine. Did anyone ever think about that? That I know, what's wrong, and to stop trying to fix it, it can't be fixed or changed or anything other than, my immune system working it's but off to kill my thyroid. Which, BTW. doesn't help, it makes it worse. And the only thing that I can do know is Wait....Wait.
Like in "All the Places You Go", I'm in the waiting place, I hate the waiting place.
I want to travel the world. I want to see more that the inside of a doctor's office. I want to run. I want to fall in love. I want to join drama again. I want to LIVE. And, that's where everyone gets lost, "well, Madison you could be worse". "Well Madison, you have so much more." "Well Madison, you do to much anyway." "Madison you have a fever." "Madison, why are you crying?" "Madison, what did I do?" "Madison why are you being so bitchy?" Madison! Madison! Madison!
You know your answer, I don't know, and I'm trying my best to be a seventeen year old girl but I can't with a disease that makes me act like a two year old on caffeine. Did anyone ever think about that? That I know, what's wrong, and to stop trying to fix it, it can't be fixed or changed or anything other than, my immune system working it's but off to kill my thyroid. Which, BTW. doesn't help, it makes it worse. And the only thing that I can do know is Wait....Wait.
Like in "All the Places You Go", I'm in the waiting place, I hate the waiting place.
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