Where are my results?

It's one thing to know that by body is attaching it's self but another to not know how. On Monday I go to the doctor and see how the levels have changed. I try so hard to think maybe just maybe my thyriod gave up, and I can finally have a normal life, that I won't be sick anymore, that I can do whatever I want, and not have to stop every few minutes because, poor thyroid is lazy.
I want to travel the world. I want to see more that the inside of a doctor's office. I want to run. I want to fall in love. I want to join drama again. I want to LIVE. And, that's where everyone gets lost, "well, Madison you could be worse". "Well Madison, you have so much more." "Well Madison, you do to much anyway." "Madison you have a fever." "Madison, why are you crying?" "Madison, what did I do?" "Madison why are you being so bitchy?" Madison! Madison! Madison!
You know your answer, I don't know, and I'm trying my best to be a seventeen year old girl but I can't with a disease that makes me act like a two year old on caffeine. Did anyone ever think about that? That I know, what's wrong, and to stop trying to fix it, it can't be fixed or changed or anything other than, my immune system working it's but off to kill my thyroid. Which, BTW. doesn't help, it makes it worse. And the only thing that I can do know is Wait....Wait.
Like in "All the Places You Go", I'm in the waiting place, I hate the waiting place.